Singles Sparks - CT and NY Matchmaker Insights for Singles - June 14 Edition

Hello LoVers,

This is something that comes up a lot: "How often should we be talking?" or "She hasn't texted me all day. Is that normal?" or "Should I text him first?" And I get it! Early stage dating can be anxiety inducing.

My answer is almost always the same: If you like someone, communicate about how you communicate.

Modern dating has created a lot of unwritten rules (too many, if you ask me) that frankly just make people anxious.

Healthy communication in early dating, communication that indicates INTEREST, has less to do with frequency and more to do with consistency and TRANSPARENCY and more that ANYTHING about how you show up when you're TOGETHER.

Some people text all day. Some barely text but are also FULLY PRESENT when they connect in person. Some work 12-hour days and don't like to have conversations over messages. Some practically live on their phones so it's simple to reply to a quick text.

The problem happens when we ASSUME our communication style is universal and then create stories about what someone else's behavior means. If you didn't get a text today or he took 6 hours to reply or hasn't asked you out again... Maybe he's in meetings. Maybe she's with her kids. Maybe they're exhausted. Maybe they're simply operating from a different communication rhythm.

So I DARE YOU: Don't assume. Get curious. Be BOLD.

In the very early stages of dating, I don't think either person should expect constant communication. You're still getting to know each other's habits, schedules, and preferences. What I do think is reasonable is consistency and transparency. If someone is interested, you should generally feel their presence. You shouldn't constantly be wondering whether they've disappeared.

And here's where my take may be a little controversial... I don't believe women need to sit on their hands waiting for a man to always text first. I also don't believe women should be carrying the entire relationship on their backs.

Ladies, YOU CAN absolutely text first. Tell someone you had a great time. Send the thing that reminded you of them. INDICATE YOUR INTEREST! That's not chasing. That's being human.

At the same time, if you're looking for a masculine man who enjoys pursuing and leading you have to give him room to do that too.

The healthiest dynamic isn't one person doing all the work. It's a tennis match. If one person is the only one serving, there isn't much of a volley. The best connections feel like two people moving toward each other. If communication is becoming a source of stress, have a conversation!

"I tend to enjoy hearing from someone I'm dating daily. What are you like with texting?"

"Just so you know, I can be slow to respond during work hours, but it doesn't mean I'm not interested."

These simple conversations prevent so many unnecessary misunderstandings.

Ultimately, the goal isn't to find someone who already communicates exactly like you. It's simply to find someone willing to understand you.

If you're ready to approach dating with intention, discernment, and a process that is both thoughtful and highly personalized... I am here for you.

Not quite ready for full-service matchmaking? Join the Jillin' It Singles Network to be considered for current and future clients. You never know…

Want to chat? Get in touch to schedule a complimentary 15 minute call to see if my private and personalized Matchmaking service is a fit for you.

In this week's HOT TOPIC, we're talking about the importance of touch. Plus, read our TOP 3 ways to make a long distance relationship work. And don't miss this week's funnies at the bottom. Gotta laugh because this dating game is NO JOKE!

Check this week's Singles Spotlight to see if YOUR match is featured this week. Then, click here to schedule a 15 minute call so I can learn a bit more about you and see if my private and personalized Matchmaking service is right for you.

Big love to you always!

xo,

Jill

Incase you missed it…

You can trust someone on paper… and still not feel secure in the relationship.

Tap the pic for the full story...

Did you know that I’m answering your dating questions on the radio every Thursday at 7:30 am on The Christine & Salt Show on 96.5 TIC? Have a question you want answered on air? Submit it here.

Singles Spotlight: Is HE Your Match?

WOMEN, ages 38-45, in the CT/NY area ... Are you smart, curious, and emotionally grounded? Do you value healthy living?

If this sounds like you, you may be a match for my grounded and thoughtful client, S. S has an easy confidence and a calm presence. He's the kind of man who knows who he is, takes care of himself, and values depth over flash. Family matters deeply to him. Raised Italian and Jewish, he grew up around Sunday dinners, big conversations, and strong values shaped more by family than religion. He believes in self-improvement, healthy living, and building a life that feels good. Spontaneous travel, meaningful conversations and laughter are important to him.

If you are a good match and are interested in learning more, email me!

HOT TOPIC: The Importance of Touch

Intimate, non-sexual touch is a beautiful nonverbal way to cultivate connection, calm, and a sense of psychological safety. Plus, it feels really great. Now let me share something that may seem — well — a bit radical. We talk too much! Touching strengthens your relationship, and it is relatively easy to do.

Read about it here and tell me what you think!

TOP 3: Ways to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work

1. Prioritize Communication Quality Over Quantity: You don't need to text all day to stay connected. A 30-minute conversation where you're fully present is often more valuable than hundreds of surface-level texts.

2. Have a Plan for When You'll See Each Other Again: Long-distance relationships become much harder when there's no timeline. Distance feels more manageable when there's a next visit—or a long-term goal—on the calendar.

3. Keep Building a Relationship, Not Just Maintaining One: Many long-distance couples spend all their time "catching up" instead of creating new experiences together. The strongest long-distance couples don't just stay connected—they continue creating shared memories despite the miles.

   
   

   Book a call with me to see if I can help you meet your dating goals.

CT and NY Matchmaker Insights for Singles

The Funnies! Because You’ve Got to Laugh…

CT and NY Matchmaker Insights for Single

CT and NY Matchmaker Insights for Singl

Curious about Matchmaking? Schedule a call to see if my matchmaking service is something we should consider for you.

I’m here for you with more opportunities than EVER! Year round singles events,  The Match of the Month Blind Date Activation, Jillin' It Singles Supper Club, Solo to Sparks Dating Intensive, my private and personalized Matchmaking service, complimentary singles network and 203 Singles Facebook group, Meet Up Group, The Four Day Flip and so much more. Here for you!

Curious about Matchmaking ? Schedule a call to see if my matchmaking service is something we should consider for you.l to see if my matchmaking service is something we should consider for you.all to see if my matchmaking service is something we should consider for you.