One of the fastest ways to feel unsteady in dating is to crowdsource your decisions. Too many cooks in the kitchen is never a good thing. Friends mean well, group chats have opinions, and social media is very loud but most advice is filtered through someone else’s history, heartbreak, and blind spots.

So many singles unknowingly treat their love life like they’re waiting for a holiday Hallmark-movie moment… for the universe to drop someone in their path, timing magically aligns, and suddenly it all unfolds perfectly. I’m a hopeful romantic too but… most connections don’t arrive like a holiday miracle. The people who participate, who show up, who put themselves in the rooms where connection can actually happen… they are the ones who reap the rewards (and the relationships).

I have NEVER done this before but, this year has been extraordinary. The connections, the momentum, the growth, the friendships, and the relationships that have formed through the Jillin’ It community have truly blown me away. I’ve been reflecting on the people who show up with courage and curiosity and I want to celebrate and encourage that energy.

Gratitude as a dating strategy? I DIG! With Thanksgiving this week, I want to offer a reframe for you: GRATITUDE isn’t just a mindset tool, it really is a dating strategy. When you shift from “nothing is working” to NOTICING the people, opportunities, and lessons that are SHOWING UP, your energy CHANGES, your CONFIDENCE rises, and you start ATTRACTING from a place of ABUNDANCE instead of scarcity. It’s amazing how different dating feels when you’re not searching from a defici

We all have a “pattern blind spot” in dating. That one familiar “type” we keep choosing, even when we swear we’ve evolved past it. I can’t tell you how many times someone describes their “ideal partner,” to me and they have unknowingly given me a detailed rundown of their ex.  Often times it’ll be the same traits, same energy, same emotional outcome just waiting to happen. That’s a pattern blind spot at work.

Tomorrow morning I take the mic, presenting at the International Matchmaker’s Alliance Conference, speaking on the topic of Events and Authenticity. I’ll be sharing with colleagues how hosting MEANINGFUL events and building AUTHENTIC community can elevate the matchmaking experience for our clients.

Halloween’s over so it’s the perfect time to TAKE OFF THE MASKS… I’m not talking about the costume kind, but the ones we wear on dates and in NEW CONNECTIONS. The right person doesn’t need a perfect connection, they want an AUTHENTIC one. Try showing a little more of your REAL humor, your QUIRKS and your UNFILTERED thoughts. That’s where real connection starts. The masks come off eventually anyways. Just be yourself. Somebody is going to LOVE that.

I believe two things can be true at once. You can feel hopeful about what’s unfolding with a budding connection and still feel the sting of what didn’t work out before. New beginnings don’t erase old endings. Grief and optimism can co-exist. You’re not betraying your choices by honoring your feelings. Read that again.

At our last event I asked singles: “Rate your last date on a scale of ‘marry them’ to ‘block them.’” The answers were… eye-opening to say the least. We definitely had some laughs over the answers but it’s a fun reminder of how different everyone’s dating experiences can be (and why a personalized approach to finding a partner makes all the difference.) You can catch the video on the Jillin’ It Instagram! Some of the stories are pretty unbelievable!

Today marks one year since I lost one of my dearest, lifelong friends suddenly. He was someone who LOVED SO BOLDLY, laughed with his WHOLE BODY, and NEVER missed a chance to tell people how much he valued and cared about them.

Remember making mixtapes for your friends or crushes? Taking it back to basics, those small, thoughtful gestures have always mattered most. Turns out, a recent Bumble study on dating trends shows that in 2025, singles are favoring micro-romance. It’s the little things. It’s the playlists, the inside jokes, the little “thinking of you” texts over grand, showy gestures that are making a lasting impression. I’m here for it!

Looks aren’t everything. Who knew, right? According to Bumble’s annual report, dating trends in 2025 show that singles are now swiping more for shared values, emotional depth, and real talk over just a cute photo. However, a new global study found that couples who met offlinereport higher satisfaction, intimacy, and commitment than those who met online.

Wow! It’s our 100th Singles Sparks annnd it’s my birthday so it got me thinking about milestones. Just like these both mark progress or growth, your dating journey has milestones too.  Success in dating is relative. It isn’t only about finding “the one.” It’s also about the first time you felt butterflies again, the first time you said no to someone who wasn’t right, or the first time you asked for what you really wanted. Those wins deserve to be CELEBRATED too!

Don’t you just love September weather? It’s one of my favorite times of year for sure. Crisp air, fresh starts, and a little tug on the heartstrings that always comes with change. Seasons shift in nature, but they shift in our lives too… especially in our dating lives. Every season of dating whether it’s a string of first dates, a tough breakup, or the sweetness of a thriving relationship carries its own wisdom.

Repeat after me: “Cuffing is CANCELED!” Cuffing Season is the time, usually from October to February, when some singles seek out short-term relationships for comfort during the colder months. As this season approaches, it’s easy to get swept up in temporary comfort but PLEASE remember, settling for convenience isn’t the same as building something real and more than anything it is just pushing off your potential to meet your FOREVER partner.

It’s the unofficial end of summer and the start of the busiest season of the year for matchmakers. In September, Summer flings fade, routines reset, and singles are more serious than ever about finding love and (fun fact!) it also happens to be National Matchmaker’s Day. If you’ve been thinking about working with a matchmaker, let me tell you, now IS the time. At the very least, make sure you’re in my free database while the season is heating up.

Swipe fatigue is real but singles are going to the extreme and literally going rogue. People are starting to date robots. Read that again. AI can write your profile and even play the part of a “perfect partner,” but it can’t give you butterflies across the dinner table or hold your hand.

So often, I see singles get caught up in the chase of being liked on a date that they forget to ask the much more important question: Do I actually like them? When your energy is spent trying to impress and share all of the amazing and impressive things about yourself you miss the chance to feel whether this person aligns with your values, your lifestyle, and your heart.

Keeping your head above water in the dating POOL can be exhausting. I get it. Every date or relationship that isn’t “the one” can seem like a failure and another reason to give up but I’m begging you to ZOOM OUT.

Breakups are always hard but breaking up with someone you thought was the one can feel like losing the future you imagined (or like an elephant is sitting on your chest.) Relatable? What does it really take to heal, rebuild, and open your heart again?